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Talk Me Out Of It: Brute in a suit edition

It's two rich and famous SUVs in the Mercedes-Benz AMG G63 and Rolls Royce Cullinan. The only thing they share is a high price tag.

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Looks like a G…S-F. 87% of you vote four doors for the win.Looks like a G…S-F. 87% of you vote four doors for the win. This week, in honor of the G63 AMG I’m driving around in (it’s a hilarious shade of blue), I’d like to find a used one for sale. It’s an amazing off-road SUV that’s outfitted like a typical Mercedes inside. Let’s bring BMW’s best, a Rolls Royce Cullinan, to see what German ute can come out on top.

The 2022 Mercedes-AMG G63 vs the 2020 Rolls Royce Cullinan

See the G-Wagon listing here

See the Rolls Royce listing here

There’s simply nothing that can compete with a G-wagon. Going beyond even Range Rover levels of luxury and off-road ability, everything else in its price range is either silly to compare (a Lamborghini Urus), or too plebeian (a Bentley). The G-Wagon draws stares like a moth to a light bulb, and though I doubt you’d take it off-road, what a waste of life to not do so.

So what else can we put against it? An Alpina XB7 is beautiful, but at “only” $160k for a new one, it’s far too cheap for our rich taste. We want German, and the only thing more classy than a Mercedes would be a Rolls Royce Cullinan. Let’s aim for the stars.

The 2022 Mercedes-AMG G63

g-wagon
Carbon fiber fender flairs. Photo: Cars & Bids

As I’m discovering, this is a hard car to pin down. It’s fast and refined on-road, but could traverse the canyons of Mars if given the chance (well, minus the whole atmosphere thing). You can spec it like Mercedes wants you to, mit dem Schwarzen, or do something silly like this car with lime inside. But you know what? It looks proper…

  • 2,600 miles
  • Clean record because it’s just a baby
  • Bid to $346,000 so far. That’s weird – my fully loaded one is $202k out the door. I digress.
  • 577 hp, twin-turbocharged V-8, 627 ft lbs of torque
  • Every G-wagen is hand built, and wow are they hard to get. Could be up to 36 months from time of order!
  • This one has carbon fiber wheel arches, an option I can’t find on Mercedes’ website. That means $$$.
  • I dig Arabian Grey over black with lime accents.
  • 4×4 squared, meaning it has 13 inches of extra ground clearance. Better check your garage door height.

I can’t imagine what you need this for. Please don’t buy it and only take it to the mall. Not so vulgar like a Hummer, nor as soft as the Rolls coming up, it’s maybe the last truly “special” car – no platform sharing, hand built – that exists.

The 2020 Rolls Royce Cullinan

rolls-royce-cullinan
Apparently, you don’t need to take good photos when selling a house. Photo: Manhattan Motorcars

I can’t imagine being happy with a Rolls Royce. I’ve never driven one, but I’ve sat in them. They are beautiful, stunning cars that share buttons and interfaces with a 7 Series. Paint colors too. It’s a nicer BMW. How nice?

  • 8,400 miles
  • $339,500
  • V-12 (yum) with 617 horsepower
  • There’s an umbrella in the rear door. Yea, open it and you’ll see.
  • Clean record
  • Three previous owners – I think these cars are easy to get bored with if you’re financially well-off
  • Lived in Missouri, Florida, Pennsylvania, and now New York

It’s an imposing car in person if you’ve never seen one – bigger than pictures let on. But it doesn’t have the off-road chops of the Mercedes. And something is just off with these. They are still hand-made in England, but it’s hard not to see BMW everywhere. You do get your own tree throughout though..

So, ultimate lux and a little off-road? Or Ultimate off-road and a little lux?

Want your car reviewed?

If you live in the tri-state area and want me to check it out, send me an email! 

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