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Talk Me Out Of It: Launch edition

V-8 German muscle cars with powerful V-8s that are more than a decade old battle for a chance to land in your driveway. The M5 vs the E55.

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I never make it easy, do I? The Cayman vs 911 battle earns a split decision, 50/50. This week, I’d like to visit a time in the not-to-distant past where electric cars were not yet king, and power still went to the rear wheels only. I’m talking hairy-chested V-8s, big, burly bodies, some kind of charging (not the plug kind), and of course famous German reliability. It’s a BMW M5 vs Mercedes E55 AMG battle.

The 2013 BMW M5 vs the 2005 Mercedes E55 AMG

See the BMW M5 listing here

See the Mercedes E55 AMG listing here

Perhaps I should have also mentioned stealth as another virtue above – both of these machines could pass as your grandma’s ride. That’s no knock, I love both the AMG’s and M’s subtle looks.

The cars that replaced these two were much more capable, with more power and more traction. But since we know drag racing is dead and these cars aren’t getting any younger, I thought it would be good to celebrate the dying art of controlling the launch with your right foot alone.

These are are about a decade apart, with one supercharged (and sounding amazing), the other turbocharged (and sounding like a vacuum cleaner having a bad day), but the principals are the same. Let’s explore.

2013 BMW M5 – Dinan Edition

dinan-m5
Behold – the Dinan M5. Photo: Cars & Bids

You can of course get your own F10 M5 tuned by Dinan, the specialty BMW company that actually has nothing to do with Steve Dinan anymore. But this M5 actually was Steve’s car, so it has a lot of goodies attached to it.

  • 37,600 miles
  • Owned in California from new
  • It’s been in magazine articles!
  • Comes with a ski bag – like I said, it has goodies
  • Tons of mods. Since this is Steve’s personal car, I’d be a bit concerned that it was used to test various parts and stages of tune.
  • To that point, the S63 engine was replaced with a new one in 2014. Unclear if it was because of BMW, tunes, or an accident.
  • And it has some accident history, including a fairly significant one about nine years ago.
  • Currently bid to $25,000
  • They say it has 674 horsies – way more than an F90 M5
  • These usually trend for over $30,000 on the used market.

If I were to select a poster car for Talk Me Out Of It, you’re looking at it. This M5 might last you forever, or it might explode a month after it arrives in your driveway. There’s literally no way to know its true past, and I call it an equal 50/50 as to whether or not it behaves itself.

But hey, it’s the right color, it’ll make an awesome talking point if someone asks about it, and with a DCT and 675 horses, it should win you some quarter-mile huzzahs.

No? Perhaps something less boy racer?

2005 Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG

e55-amg
Mercedes, circa 2005. Photo: Cars & Bids

I suppose it’s the generation I belong to, but when I think of Mercedes, it isn’t the boxy tanks of the 80s and 90s – it’s these svelte alien versions with troublesome electronics. There are some key differences between these two specific cars.

  • 89,300 miles
  • Totally bone stock
  • No accidents, and lived in South Carolina its entire life
  • Minor corrosion and wear throughout, but nothing to be scared of.
  • One owner from 2004
  • Currently bid to $16,200. These usually go for around $20,000 max. This car was over $80,000 new in 2004.
  • Only 469 horsepower (and 516-lb-ft of torque!) pumped through a 5-speed automatic. That makes it more powerful than a base G80 M3.

If Batman needed a sedan, he might have this one. No one will ever see you coming, but they sure as hell will hear you going. Problems include an interior that is not really representative of Mercedes quality, a differential prone to leaks, and a bad crank position sensor.

Speaking of, there are a lot of electrical things that love to reveal themselves, like a bad instrument cluster. But if you can get it sorted, you’ll have an excellent platform with which to launch down the strip.

So what will it be? Dinan Power or the whine of a Mercedes supercharged V-8?

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