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Talk me out of it: 2017 BMW M2

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Maybe it’s my Mediterranean-based good looks (doubtful), or how I say coffee with a New York tone (caw-fee), but 67% of you think I belong in that Ferrari 575M. Today, I’m in the mood for M. The kind of M that makes Mom cry, Dad shake his head, and your girlfriend tell you to drop her off around the block. Behold this (badly) modified M2!

2017 BMW M2

Well, I can honestly say I’ve never seen E92 wheels on one before. Photo: CarFax

See the listing here

We love to “upgrade” our cars, don’t we? You change the badge, I throw on a supercharger. In the end, we all stand around our cars on a Sunday morning in a big circle and say things like “Bro, that yours?” or “What else have you done to it?”, or perhaps my personal favorite “Dude, I almost had you”.

It’s the best three hours of your weekend. Yess, it is. Stop shaking your head.

One of these things is not like the others…Photo: CarFax

But there’s always that guy at every show. The one with the mods that just, you know, aren’t to anyone’s taste. Like this M2. It has:

  • Three owners
  • Wheels from an E92 M3. And not the ZCP ones either.
  • Carbon fiber for dayzzz (the canards, oh the canards)
  • It’s uh…lowered.
  • DCT
  • This is a 2017, so it’s not a Competition model.
  • The not terrible mileage of 27,000
  • LoJack…I did not know that was still a thing.
  • An intake I personally have not seen before. It’s red. Like it came from the Pep Boys ModZ isle.
  • Clean records. What “exhaust repair” means is a guess I dare not make.
  • And the pièce de résistance: a blue anodized dial on the iDrive knob.

There are other goodies, but I think you get the idea. This car’s saving grace is in its low mileage and average price of $44, 397.

What to look for in a BMW M2

Red intake. Red alert. Photo: CarFax

I wrote the buyer’s guide on the F87 M2, but let’s pull out a few selects.

If you finance this 2017 M2’s full price, that’s just about $900 per month for five years. That precludes the 20-year-old reading this with a credit score of -100 saying “Time to level up!” I can assure you, it is not time.

Anyway, the new G87 M2 starts around $62,000, which is a third more. That means you could lease a brand new M2 for about the same monthly payment. And the new one doesn’t come with all the stuff you’d want to remove. Think of all the time you’d save.

M for dayzzz

Palette cleanser.

Would you buy your own car used? After all, only you know how you really treat it. That’s a lot of yous.

But think about it – maybe you drive your car with intent. A few bolts have broken off because that crap happens all the time. Some swirl or scuff marks. Your car has lived. This M2 has lived enough for two, it seems.

Still, take off the body kit and those canards. Bring it back to stock. Go to the dealer and get a regular iDrive knob. If the mileage checks out, this BMW M2 can be saved.

I can be the Patron Saint of M. Should I point my magic wand at this one?

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