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Talk Me Out Of It: Guilty Pleasures Edition

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Wow! 70% of you want that ZHP – guess it’s a good thing it’s a sedan, because I’ll be bringing friends. This week, I’m so embarrassed to admit my automotive high school crushes. But you’re not too judgemental, right? I mean, it’s a Chevrolet Camaro Z28 SS….

But wait. It gets better.

1996 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 SS vs the 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX

See the Camaro listing here

See the Eclipse listing here

Have you gone back to listen to some of the music you used to blast with the windows down, hoping to find a cutie to pull up next to at a red light? No? I don’t recommend doing it in the company of someone who isn’t your age.

Wow, who hates their dad that much?

I digress – this is about embarrassing cars, not that old My Chemical Romance album. And in the 90s, for a fan of those Japanese Gods like the Supra and Skyline, to even whisper a name like Camaro would get you booed out of the PathMark parking lot.

Complete with 90s misty photography haze! Photo: GM

Live rear axle! Gross. Pushrod engines! Yuck. Never mind that those V-8 beasts could blast away anything with the word “compact” in its description. So now, I admit to you – I really liked the 90s shark bod Camaro. It looked cool. It sounded cool. I’ve never driven one – that’s probably for the best.

While the Camaro is for sale right now, it’s really hard to find a decent second generation Eclipse available, which is my other hot n’ heavy crush. So please excuse that this example dates back to May.

Let’s see which one I’m taking to prom.

The 1996 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 SS

Shark styling. Photo: Car & Bids.

Don’t look at me like that. And yes, I liked the Firebird too, ok? Let’s dive in

  • 28,200 miles (who saves this thing?)
  • Bid to $10,600 so far
  • Spotty history, but no accidents or damage
  • Proper wheels, but I always like the “LCI” revised version of these better
  • Six-speed manual
  • SLP package – a somewhat rare but pretty cool package that includes a cold-air intake and other neat things like decals so your bros and babes know what’s up
  • Bilstein shocks with the Sport Suspension Package
  • Black on black
  • The interior is just a joke, but there is an added head unit with CarPlay and a camera.
  • Seriously, why does every GM car from this decade look the same inside?

Now I might joke, but 305 horsepower and 325 lb-ft of torque was serious business back in the day. Of course, a teenager’s dream might be the V-8, but no way mom is letting you get anything but a V-6. Way less cool.

Sometimes parents just don’t understand.

The 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX

What a beauty! Photo: Bring a Trailer

Guess what? I don’t like the first gen Eclipse. Didn’t even like it back then. Looked so dated so quickly. But this 2G? I liked it even more than the 3000GT when it first came out. That’s some crush.

  • Sold for $35,000. That’s more than the car’s 1999!
  • 89,000 miles
  • Clean CarFax
  • GSX – super rare with all-wheel drive.
  • I much prefer the updated, or “LCI” 2G here, with its mini 3000GT wing and headlights
  • Six-speed manual, not the four-speed auto
  • Red/tan. The only combo that matters.

As rare as a 3000GT is at car shows, the Eclipse is even more so. I can’t ever remember seeing one like this. Another car I’ve never driven, and again, probably for the best. The Eclipse is also slower than the Camaro, and runs the risk of blending in with that silver GS Spyder that your neighbor’s 20-year-old daughter owns (smells like raspberry vape inside).

This might be the only shot I have. The vert was cool too.

So, there is it. I’ve dropped the proverbial towel to bare for all. A Camaro, and an Eclipse. I would have been so cool in high school…

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